Wednesday, February 20, 2013

A Guilt Trip to Ulta


Oh, outrageously-opulent-lifestyle-championed-by-credit-cards-everywhere, how you call to me. While I have always seen shopping as me just doing my patriotic duty to help keep the economy afloat, alas, the tinderbox that is Wall Street has imploded, and it seems that a budget may be in order.

And it wouldn’t it just be so cruel to find my newfound frugality mocked by the most perfect nail polish color to ever grace the aisles of Ulta. That tiny bottle filled with a luminescent pink confection and peachy sheen cost an outrageous $10, and what else would it be called, but, ‘Recessionista’.

Rest assured, beauty universe, the irony is not lost on me.

It’s my own fault. I shouldn’t have been in Ulta anyways, where hundreds of women are daily led to the checkout counter like sheep to the slaughter, their arms brimming with girly must-haves. But really, Essie? Why must you remind me of my commitment to thriftiness with a guilt trip of a name like ‘Recessionista’, all the while looking so chipper and perfect for my expectant fingertips? All you have done is remind me of what I should not have.

I hope you are happy.

Tease. 

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