Pin Guilt

Let’s talk about Pinterest. I love it, but it makes me feel guilty. Kind of like cheesecake. Correction. Kind of like eating half a wheel of cheesecake, like I have done before, in a moment of emotional upheaval.

I love Pinterest because 1. There are dazzling, colorful pictures of inspiring makeup techniques that, if I mastered, could change my life forever and 2. There are pictures of grooms sobbing as they see their brides walking down the aisle, and that gives me hope that I too will one day make a grown man cry like that and 3. It makes me appear as if I am a stylist, comedian, sommelier, event planner, civil rights activist and a stellar housekeeper (that’s the joke of the century).

My feelings of guilt arise from the fact that, despite having wiled away hours of my life pinning mesmerizing pin after mesmerizing pin, I have used a grand total of 1 Recipe idea and 2 Workouts, visited only 3 of the places I have on my “Wanderlust” board, can afford about 4 of my Wedding ideas, and have taken zero, absolutely zero, suggestions on how to be the next Martha Stewart whilst cleaning my house.

Given, that last one I feel pretty ok about.

You can witness this guilt corporately by attending a ‘Pinterest Party’, where women who feel just as embarrassed as you do about pinning ideas they will never use gather together to make an attempt to try at least one idea that they have pinned while at work, school, and dare I say, church. The existence of these parties holds an irony of its own, as there are pins on Pinterest about how to…throw a Pinterest Party.

Not to mention the fact that an entire generation of brides now feels the pressure to outdo one another by Pinterestifying the heck out of their weddings, it now being considered a compliment to tell a stressed out bride: “Your wedding looks like Pinterest exploded! I’m going to Instagram it to death!”

I am convinced Pinterest is a frivolous exercise in futility.

But oh look! My new favorite cheesecake recipe! There has got to be a recovery group for this...