At one point or another, we will all come in contact with
them. They’re everywhere. On the roads, in the parks, in neighborhoods, maybe
on your own street. Their presence is gut wrenching and inescapable.
Runners.
Yes, they inspire a begrudging admiration at times, and may
even motivate me to try something other than Zumba once in a while. But, real
talk; running is not fun. And some runners take things too far. In the name of all that is decent, stop
flaunting your ridiculously toned body! I see them smirking, knowing the rest
of us can tell from their sweaty shirt that they have just run a half marathon,
the spring in their step taunting us that they could easily run another twenty
miles.
I am perfectly happy not being able to run ten miles without
expiring, and I don’t need runners to remind me of how long it’s been since
I’ve struggled laboriously to complete a 5K. The only sense of gleeful
satisfaction I gain from seeing them bound along the street are those ridiculous
Nike running shorts they think are cool.
I know I am not the only one who hates running. 87% of
people in our poll (out of 2) agreed that running is painful and unfun. Hateful. Horrific even.
So no matter how guilty runners try to make me feel, I will
stand by the fact that I burn just as many calories dancing in my kitchen to
Britney Spears as they do running mile after boring mile.
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